Also - I thought the rhino on the label was a cat at first glance.

Today I dug a grave for a stranger's cat, so it's a wino night tonight, let me assure you. 

I'm basically brain-dead after a laborious-turned-emotional day - I'm fairly spent, although the combo of yard work and comforting a grieving pet owner feels nice.  I'm nice.

Tonight's selection:
Wine:  "Fat Bastard" Shiraz 2011, by Fat Bastard Wine Company
Origin:  Frrrrahnce
Price:  $14.95
CC score: 3.5 of 5 =  MEH-and-a-half

As a rule I never purchase French wines (I remember the Bikini atoll, you fuckers!), but I was in Thamesford and the selection at the LCBO agent was very, very, very limited, and I was not prepared to bring home the Maria Christina (**teenage barfing flashback**).  I do enjoy the Shirazes AND I love swearing and swears and lo, le Fat Bastard voulez vous'd itself home with me ce soir.  And the name reminds me of this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QHa_SQB8NB0&feature=relmfu.

Remarkably full bodied the label says.  Wonderful color [sic] and ROUND rich palate the label says.  Although it rates high on the drinkability scale (prestone would also fare well on that scale tonight, mind you) and it IS a nice glass-of, but it truly pales beside my favored Chilean, Australian, and now South African (thank-you A Place In The Sun!) whorish new-world Shirazes.  It is a mellower, milder Shiraz yet still almost a mouthful.  It might have received a 4 but I have not yet forgotten France's nuclear atrocities to the South Pacific.  AND I NEVER WILL.  I think that's a form of transference...

May the semi-precious stones of my hippie-made necklace protect me from France's eternal damnation.

True indifference, and the DW ratings explained

Tonight's selection:
Wine:  "EastDell" Black Cab 2010, by Diamond Estates
Origin:  Ontario (VQA, Niagara region)
Price:  $12.95
CC score:  3 of 5 = MEH

Welp, I tried the EastDell Black Cab last night.  The experience prompted me to alter my rating template.  It didn't meet any of the categories, really, and I didn't want to over-complicate this sham-of-a-blog with a do-over, or anything that would take logic, or effort, so I've enhanced the middle score to reflect what I truly feel by MEH - that is;  I don't regret opening you per se, but I wouldn't bring you to a party where friends who 'know' wine might taste you.  Also, I don't feel totally comfortable putting you in stemware, so I hope you're ok with me drinking you from a juice-glass or coffee mug, you dig?   It's like dating someone you're mildly embarrassed of, and don't want your best friend to find out about, they serve a primitive purpose and you won't feel at all bad dumping them.  But you might call them in a dry spell. 

Maybe I'm being too hard on this blend.  After all, it is from Ontario and it will not (should not) taste like those ballsy new-world bastards I love so much.  It does have some things going for it - it's plummy, slightly spicy, dry, and its not over-bearing - this is a nice dinner accompaniment, less of a stand-alone sipper.  Perhaps it's the blend itself I don't love.  The company's website states the Black Cab blend ratio is 42% Baco Noir, 27% Cab Franc, 31% Cab Sauvignon, so perhaps it's too much Baco Noir.  I guess I like you, but I don't love you.  I'll might still buy you, though.

Addendum:  I frequently drink wine from tea cups, coffee mugs, rock glasses, tumblers, plastic cups in a pinch, whatever.  It's not the vessel that matters, so long as the wine is delivered to the body!  The inside of a coffee mug is no different than a Riedel bordeaux glass.  Anyone who says otherwise is a twat, tell them to fuck their hat.

The newly enhanced CC Score:

1 of 5 = LOS (leave on shelf)

2 of 5 = GTI (give to in-laws)

3 of 5 = MEH (meh, drink it in a coffee mug)*

4 of 5 = PFG (pretty fuckin good)

5 of 5 = TDF (to die for)

Just close your eyes and imagine Lenny Kravitz

THIS I have to try...

Look at this fat slut!

Gonna need to recruit a few pals to help get through this one - EastDell Black Cab, VQA, from the Niagara region.  A blend of Baco Noir, Cabernet Franc and Cabernet Sauvignon. 

She comes in a gigantic 1.5L size for *gasp* $19.95!! (the standard 750ml bottle retails at $12.95) And, AND - can be the first addition to the "birds on the label" theme!  Or the VQA theme, or the Niagara region theme, or the Vulgar Glutton theme.  Gather 'round, kiddies.  I sense a Wino party in the making.

The reviews seem pretty good - It's dry, fat, cheap and dark.  Has Goldilocks found her porridge?  I'll keep you posted.

Segundo vino.

¡Y es bueno, compártelo con tus amigos!

Tonight's selection:
Wine:  "Kawin" 2011 Private Reserve Cabernet Sauvignon, by Hacienda Lolol
Origin:  Central Valley, Chile  (Lolol is a Chilean commune and town in Colchagua Province, O'Higgins Region. Lolol was founded in 1830.  Thanks Wikipedia!)
Price:  $9.95 !
Rating:  4 of 5 = PFG

Smooth, peppery, lush, very drinkable due to its mellow tones.  Mmm-hmmm, it's nice!  I was surprised by this Chilean Cab, actually.  I fear the price tag lowered my expectations (I'm a dick).  So I wondered if Chilean winemakers enjoy national subsidies, and expressly googled.  It seems some Chilean vintners do, and some do not.  This is an interesting piece on the industry down there: (http://www.winesofchile.org/2012/03/chilean-wine-greats-nominated-for-wine-intelligence-awards/).  I also found a nerd who had a pretty succinct opinion, "Wine down here in Chile ranges in price from $1 to $3 per bottle. I’ve been drinking these and some luxury ($7) Chilean wines and, to my uneducated palette, they compare favorably to wines tasted in California’s Napa Valley wines which were $30-50/bottle.  So the question for the wine experts reading this is… why would anyone buy wine from Napa, where a small bit of land for a house is almost $1 million?  One would naively suppose that grapes and wine produced on some of the world’s most expensive real estate would be a bad bargain.  We don’t buy apples from the Upper East Side of Manhattan.  We don’t buy oranges from Beverly Hills.  Couldn’t a winery in a place where real estate and labor are cheaper (e.g., Australia, Argentina, Chile, etc.[my edit: labour & real estate is not cheaper in Australia]) always produce a much better wine for any given price?"  The 'fair trade' ghost that lives in my conscious is mildly suspicious of that attitude, but the rest of my mind likes the logic.  The label states that the word 'Kawin' means "a gathering or celebration" in the native Mapuche language, and thus it's "a wine for pleasure of sharing."  Tonight I have the pleasure of sharing it with myself, but oh how I'd love to have 4 bottles flowing around a dinner table with 5 friends, roast duck, and a garlic-something accoutrement... especially at that price.  But it's pairing nicely with plain potato chips this evening.

It was explained to me in Australia that the vintage of a southern hemisphere wine is actually a year ahead of the growing/harvesting season in the northern hemisphere, and to think of this 2011 as a 2010 (which allows us to stick to the rule of never drinking a Cab Sauv before it has aged two or more years).  Go get some!

La premiere!

The wino, dignified.

The first official Dignified Wino party is (as usual) a party for one.  The particulars of DW origins are outlined far below.  Essentially I'm just gonna be honest as heck about my selections, opinions and impressions. 

Tonight's selection:
Wine: "Place in the sun" 2011 Shiraz, by Zonnebloem Wines
Origin: South Africa
Price: $11.95 ($1.00 off sale)
Rating: 4 of 5 = PFG

I have already tried this wine last Saturday with an anonymous friend (JESSICA M) but was all guzzly-goo-sauce-tiger, and not interested in savoring anything but my own loud, smarmy voice.  Sorry, Jess.   I do recall my initial thought at the LCBO shelf was, "Shriaz from South Africa - that ain't right" (I have been to the the exalted Barossa valley in Australia where Shiraz is the gifted child), but the FAIRTRADE logo, the "under $15" price, and my craving for a punchy red sealed the deal.  I was pleasantly elated to find it very drinkable, and so I took the brakes off that night.  Tonight, however, I am giving it a fair shake and am actually tasting it.  It's a mouthful, for sure; dry-as, and leaves a bit of acrid-yet-cherry sheen to linger on the back of the tongue, which I adore (and that, friends, is the extent of *that* kind of commentary).  I'd love to have a lump of brie with this wine, or that espresso pecorino I had that one time...
LCBO website claims this variety as limited.  I will buy this again, most definitely!

Place in the Sun Shiraz - Give it a Whirl!

**MANIFESTO **  Just so I'm clear:  I am not a wine expert, snob, nor sommelier.  I am a very, very average lay-person who has been enjoying wine for 15 years.  Now that I am of-an-age and remain about as financially solvent as I was 15 years ago, I am a great proponent of the budget bottle of vino for everyday occasions.  My idea started halfway through a decent bottle of Chilean Cab, which (as with all things nowadays) ended up on facebook.  The Dignified Winos Group was born!  And deftly abandoned 3 days later (as with all things nowadays).   I prefer reds, but nothing is off limits.  The pitch:

"Book clubs are just dandy, but let's be honest - people join book clubs so they can drink shamelessly on a Tuesday. This group is for those of us on a budget and who have no shame.

It's simple: The challenge is to find the best/cheapest wine - with themes! $15 maximum bottle price, ideally something new to your mouth.  Everyone brings a bottle of vino, taste, compare, review - sharing & revery happens.
Additional options include: cheese, Mad Men re-runs, gossip, possibly even book reviews, who knows where it could lead.

Themes so far:
- by region, ie) Ontario only, Niagara only, Essex only, local only... Oz only, Via Italia!, Cali only - you get the picture
- Varietal-specific, ie) Chianti, Cab Sauv, Baco noir, etc. Can we have a NO MERLOT rule?
- BC's best (although prob more costly than $15 max)
- Celeb wine: Aykroyd, Coppola, Gretzky, Weir, Maynard .. it's fuckin endless.
- "Judge the book by it's cover" - select a vintage by it's label

Please share your suggestions and invite friends!"

Rating system:

1 of 5 = LOS (leave on shelf)

2 of 5 = GTI (give to in-laws)

3 of 5 = MEH (meh)

4 of 5 = PFG (pretty fuckin good)

5 of 5 = TDF (to die for)